I am jist going to type this without any corrections just the way I feel when Ihaven't had my medicaton yet. I laid dwon in the afternoon it was still light but I can't remember the time. I woke up a little several times by noise on the tv and regonized the program and wnet back to sleep. I can't remember what time. I am trying to ermember.
I hurt so much right now. My meds are out of the bottles and sitting to my left but I want to do this post when I am in my normal mode without any artifical stuff. Right now the inside of my left thigh is burning where it is rubbing against the leather chair. I can feel burning shooting through the skin on my back, I have a slight headache in the back of my neck, I have small electrical tiney shooting pains on my left shoulder oops that is gone now it is my left knee hurting badly. I will turn the stimulator on in a minute.
My back is killing me lots of pressure at the surgical implant site. I feel hot and sweaty. I am having a lot of trouble typing because I canot concentrate because of all the pains shooting through my body. I feel big burn in my ribs under my breast right now.
I can't do this. It hurts too much everywhere to sit her.
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What a difference one hour after taking my pain medications can make. Since my last posting a few hours ago; most of the pain is numb and fading away. It is still here and I know it will be back; it always does return.
I have emptied the dishwasher, cleaned out the sink, tossed some things I do not need and cannot be sold in my yard sale, put flea medication on Midnight and tried to catch ther other two no way.
After I got off line I was so shaken and upset at how I am feeling and at how I am living day to day. This is not surviving and I can't keep it up. My quality of life is poor and I feel powerless to make an improvement. I know I can do it but it is so overwhelming I don't know where to start. I have several business things to take care of that are urgent and could pose serious problems for me if I don't get it done ASAP and that means in the next 24 hours.
The house is so cluttered I can't stand it. I folded clothes two weeks ago and they are still sitting there on the rocking chair and a table in my room. Actually two tables and one chair. My bedroom is a mess so untidy. I hurt so much and so tired it is hard to do it.
But every room in the house is like that. Cluttered. Things need to be organized, put away if I want to keep it and tossed if I don't. The studio outside is a cluttered mess too. And so is the front porch, the garden is unkempt and the side of the house is just cluttered with gardening junk and hard to get to the grass to cut it.
I am going to the shrink tomorrow for my regular appointment. Talk to her about how depressed I have been feeling and how tired. I may need a med change.
But when I get home I am going to get my Day Timer out of retirement and start making a schedule for getting things done putting the most urgent under the category A and so forth I learned from the Charlie Ferrell's Time Management Class. I did not forget what I learned that day. I think it will help my mindset a lot.
Okay instead of posting things I would like to do I need to get up and do things.
I have got to take my laxative today. I forgot to and yesterday I had a big problem. And then bled a lot afterwards. That is from the plavix and aspirin therapy for my heart. I bleed really easily now and cut easily too.
Later..............
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