Before I got hurt I was such a strong and independent woman who was doing okay professionally, financially and personally. I had a great job with good pay, led a very active social life with lots of friends, had a good and loving relationship with my family and my partner at the time.
Now I barely go out of the house. A tank of gas for my 2000 Nissan truck lasts six weeks. I hardly talk to anyone. I have no real friends anymore and a strained relationship with my kids. I don't want to burden them and make them worry to I don't tell them about it.
Today, I drove to my pain care doctor in Charlotte 25 miles from home. I am always scared to drive when taking my narcotic pain medication so I am very viligent and it is so tiring to be on constant alert.
When I got there all the staff except the receptionist were at lunch. I had missed them by five minutes. I have to pick up my script each month for the oxycotin 20 mg taken three times a day. The law does not allow these to be called into the pharmacy. I would have had to wait 90 min.
I sat down and tried to think about what I could do. I was told the day before that they could not write another script until I saw the doctor or the pa. This visit is $200. I don't have it. I asked them to write me a script for methadone; my doctor does this every time I loose insurance replaces the oxycotin with methadone as the methadone costs $20 vs almost $600. They said this could not be done unless I saw the doctor or the pa. I asked if a script fo vicodin could be written until I see the doctor or the pa next month. The answer was no. Vicodin, enough to get me to the next appointment on Oct.12th (I finally agreed to make an appointment though where I was to get the $200 is beyond me) would cost about $50.
I sat there and then thought about contacting the doctor directly. I got the number for the clinic where he was today and had to leave a message which was "Dr. Bullard, I once again have lost medicaid and have no other insurance. I am scheduled to see you on Oct. 12th could you please call in a script for vicodin to the pharmacy? I am heading home and am too fatigued to come back later today for the script for methadone. Thanks!" I asked him to call me back or a nurse to let me know what had been done. I never heard from them at all.
I go outside the clinic to my truck to head home and my phone rings. It is my caseworked at Adult Medicaid. I am trying to be reinstated into Medicaid.
In Jan. I applied but they lost all my paperwork and did not find it until two weeks ago. It is a confusing mess. But we have gotten to an agreement that I am to reapply providing copies of unpaid medical bills totally over $4,368 that were for the period of Jan. 1 2004 to Jan. 1, 2006. In Jan. I gave them $7,200 worth of medical bills that had not been paid.
I have almost three drawers of medical bills. These files are heavy and it is a great burden to fill out the application and pull bills out of these files and return them.
So we agreed that I could have the weekend to go and pull out all unpaid bills in the time period above and bring them all to her on Monday. Crap! That is a lot of work and I have arthritis in my hands.
I was talking to my caseworker on the phone and began crying in frustration and remember saying "Regina, my life is in terrible condition, I hurt so much I am so tired I don't know how much longer I can do this..." And I don't know.
I got into the truck and started sobbing. I stopped crying and drove home. I had to stop at the store to buy some food. I go almost everyday as it is hard carrying the groceries.
When I got home I had a quick bite to eat and then laid down at 2 pm and fell asleep and woke at 10 pm. This happens to me a lot. Some days I may sleep 18 hours. It is the depression associated with chronic pain and illnesses and injuries. It is the meds most of which cause fatigue. It is my diet which is poor; I hurt so much and most of the time too tired to cook. It is because when I am asleep I can't think about my situation.
And I do not know how much longer I can live like this. No one wants to hear what I have to say.
So here I sit on an early Sat. morning without a script, with only enough pain medication for a few more days and I am running out of options, energy and facing withdrawal symptoms not to mention the pain I will be experiencing full blown early next week.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Going It Alone:
For almost seven years I have been dealing with injuries suffered in an auto accident; trying to find out what was wrong with me, get the diagnosises and appropriate treatments.
This is all well and good but it is only part of the problem. The biggest and most difficult part is trying to cope with the results of the insurance company, their claims adjusters and their lawyer's actions of intentional inflictional of emotional and financial harm based on the fact that I am a lesbian.
The previous journal entries here are tedious and difficult to read about. It is even more difficult to live it day to day. To experience the slow decline of finances, emotional health and the inability to keep up the work involved in day to day living with my body, what happened to my body, trying to live, trying to get someone to listen, trying to find someone who can help me take this to civil court as advised by most everyone who hears my story and even by the Dept. of Insurance here in NC. I have two letters in my possession advising me to file a lawsuit against Auto-Owners Insurance Company.
Why? To expose this company to the public, to gain a monetary settlement, award and/or judgement against the above mentioned parties as punishment for their actions and as a payment to me for the infliction of emotional and financial distress and to pay off my creditors and to be able to buy the treatments and medication I need to have to survive.
Today I received in the mail a judgement against me for Discover Card in the amount of $7,000; they threatened to confiscate all my assets. I was threatened with a lawsuit by a previous dentist. Even IRS is threatening legal action against me. I owe other credit cards and doctor bills that will soon become lawsuits against me as well.
I am living on $990 a month on SSDI, no longer able to work, no medical insurance and no way to pay for doctor's visits and medicine. The costs for prescriptions alone is $658 a month; for heart meds, anti-depressants and pain medications.
The accident and subsequent injuries and illnesses are all a direct result of the car accident. These injuries and illnesses have become so severe over the years it became impossible to work. The Social Security Administration agreed with me because they awarded me SSDI the first application without and attorney.
Because of my financial decline (income has gone from $34,000 to about 10,000) I cannot pay my credit cards at all, had some late payment on my house, my vehicle came within a week of being repossed while I was waiting for an answer about the SSDI. In Nov.1997, my credit was outstanding. I was able to find my potential home and close all within two weeks. Now my credit is in terrible condition.
The insurance policies that were available to cover the costs of my injuries and illnesses and the financial burden imposed by the above was $200,000. Because of the actions of the insurance company and their lawyer in mediation; threats of exposure of homosexuality in court of myself and two of my witnesses I was forced to accept a settlement of $21,000. My two witnesses who are also lesbians are school teachers and would have lost their jobs if it became known and their lawyer was well aware of this fact. I could have lost my job as well.
I have documents which can prove everything I have written in this entire blog.
I have letters from the NC Dept of Insurance proving that the insurance company, claims adjuster and the lawyer lied during it's investigation of my complaint to them.
I have a letter from an employee in management of the insurance company threatening me with legal action if I don't cease to stop telling people about this case.
The mediator in this case, Judge Chase Saunders made a statement to me in mediation out of the hearing of the lawyer and reps of the insurance company that because I am gay I will not get one penny more than the $21,000 they offered me. Judge Saunders said this case (he was a judge in superior and district courts) should have brought a minimum of $175,000 and that in all his years he had never seen such deliberate misrepresentation of medical facts and mistreatment of a plantiff. He would make an excellent witness because he is a kind, honest and well respected man in this area.
I need help. I cannot find a lawyer; I have contacted perhaps thirty or so for assistance and none of them will take this case because of the issue of homosexuality. All of them have stated they want no part of this case because the chances of winning here in NC to them is very small. I disagree completely.
The mediation took place in Feb. 2004 so the statute of limitations for the tort of deliberate infliction of severe emotional and financial distress has not passed.
Next page, what happened today that reflects what happens in my days almost on a regular basis. I am even afraid to check the mail now.
This is all well and good but it is only part of the problem. The biggest and most difficult part is trying to cope with the results of the insurance company, their claims adjusters and their lawyer's actions of intentional inflictional of emotional and financial harm based on the fact that I am a lesbian.
The previous journal entries here are tedious and difficult to read about. It is even more difficult to live it day to day. To experience the slow decline of finances, emotional health and the inability to keep up the work involved in day to day living with my body, what happened to my body, trying to live, trying to get someone to listen, trying to find someone who can help me take this to civil court as advised by most everyone who hears my story and even by the Dept. of Insurance here in NC. I have two letters in my possession advising me to file a lawsuit against Auto-Owners Insurance Company.
Why? To expose this company to the public, to gain a monetary settlement, award and/or judgement against the above mentioned parties as punishment for their actions and as a payment to me for the infliction of emotional and financial distress and to pay off my creditors and to be able to buy the treatments and medication I need to have to survive.
Today I received in the mail a judgement against me for Discover Card in the amount of $7,000; they threatened to confiscate all my assets. I was threatened with a lawsuit by a previous dentist. Even IRS is threatening legal action against me. I owe other credit cards and doctor bills that will soon become lawsuits against me as well.
I am living on $990 a month on SSDI, no longer able to work, no medical insurance and no way to pay for doctor's visits and medicine. The costs for prescriptions alone is $658 a month; for heart meds, anti-depressants and pain medications.
The accident and subsequent injuries and illnesses are all a direct result of the car accident. These injuries and illnesses have become so severe over the years it became impossible to work. The Social Security Administration agreed with me because they awarded me SSDI the first application without and attorney.
Because of my financial decline (income has gone from $34,000 to about 10,000) I cannot pay my credit cards at all, had some late payment on my house, my vehicle came within a week of being repossed while I was waiting for an answer about the SSDI. In Nov.1997, my credit was outstanding. I was able to find my potential home and close all within two weeks. Now my credit is in terrible condition.
The insurance policies that were available to cover the costs of my injuries and illnesses and the financial burden imposed by the above was $200,000. Because of the actions of the insurance company and their lawyer in mediation; threats of exposure of homosexuality in court of myself and two of my witnesses I was forced to accept a settlement of $21,000. My two witnesses who are also lesbians are school teachers and would have lost their jobs if it became known and their lawyer was well aware of this fact. I could have lost my job as well.
I have documents which can prove everything I have written in this entire blog.
I have letters from the NC Dept of Insurance proving that the insurance company, claims adjuster and the lawyer lied during it's investigation of my complaint to them.
I have a letter from an employee in management of the insurance company threatening me with legal action if I don't cease to stop telling people about this case.
The mediator in this case, Judge Chase Saunders made a statement to me in mediation out of the hearing of the lawyer and reps of the insurance company that because I am gay I will not get one penny more than the $21,000 they offered me. Judge Saunders said this case (he was a judge in superior and district courts) should have brought a minimum of $175,000 and that in all his years he had never seen such deliberate misrepresentation of medical facts and mistreatment of a plantiff. He would make an excellent witness because he is a kind, honest and well respected man in this area.
I need help. I cannot find a lawyer; I have contacted perhaps thirty or so for assistance and none of them will take this case because of the issue of homosexuality. All of them have stated they want no part of this case because the chances of winning here in NC to them is very small. I disagree completely.
The mediation took place in Feb. 2004 so the statute of limitations for the tort of deliberate infliction of severe emotional and financial distress has not passed.
Next page, what happened today that reflects what happens in my days almost on a regular basis. I am even afraid to check the mail now.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
It Is Hard For Even Me to Believe All of This Blog
and the events that happened. It reads like a horror story or some crazy woman wrote it. I may be deeply depressed by all the things that happened and all the things that have happened to my body of which I had little or no control; but I am not nuts.
I have a need to be heard and it would help to be acknowledged too.
I struggle every day to stay solvent; to keep my home, to keep my vehicle running and pray it doesn't break down, to keep the self-defeating attitude at bay, to think positive thoughts about myself and my world and everything in it.
Some days I just can't win. I do have to pat myself on the back I am still afloat. I have managed to keep the bad guys away from me. Just barely I managed. But I am.
Some days I take a few steps forward and some days a few steps back; always the situation is degeneration and I am holding on for what I am not sure. I need to make a plan though.
I got some numbers so I can file for bankruptcy; to get the creditors off my back. I will not include the house as I want to keep it for as long as possible.
I am working on getting straight with the IRS; I haven't filed in a few years which is stupid for many reasons but they owe me lots of money! With all the medical bills wow! I can't seem to concentrate. I can't seem to get enough energy together and hold the pain at bay to take care of many things that I have to do.
I work on something for an hour or so and get discouraged because the pain escalates, I get fatigued, get frustrated, get up to rest and say "I will do these things when I feel better." Feeling better rarely happens because my body is breaking down to old age status because of the car accident and I have little or no control over the prognosis.
I am blessed and very happy about the good news concerning my heart. That is a break; a good break that was needed badly.
I am trying to decide what to do about Auto Owners and Jeff Bolster. They need to be socked in the wallet and as hard as I can manage. I had an idea the other day when looking for an attorney. I am having difficulty because of the gay issue. I think I will have better luck omitting it in my search. I have enough bad stuff to use and to file a lawsuit over without mentioning I am a lesbian. The angle with my mother's dying of breast cancer and my son's autism being used against me in deposition and mediation whould be enough.
Today, my chore is to go through all my unfiled paperwork; pull out all medical bills, tax stuff and stuff concerning Auto Owners and Bolster. These are things I need to take care of the most important things on my list. I spent one hour this morning and need to get off line and get back to it.
I can put the stuff I don't need right now into boxes and label "To Be Filed." That can wait till I get the taxes done. I have a number for VITA; this is affilliated with IRS but they help the consumer and they are volunteers. This is a great thing to have use of.
I have not filed any paperwork in SIX years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Filing kills my back. But when my son was here a week ago I had him stack the two filing cabinets with the important stuff on top.
Crap I am tired but I cann't lay down just yet. I have to get medical bills ready (make copies) for the Food Stamp program and take them down there Tuesday. And then get the medical bills ready for the hearing for recertification for medicaid. That mess is their mistake and oh what a mistake it was.
Maybe I can squeeze in an hour nap later..........................
I have a need to be heard and it would help to be acknowledged too.
I struggle every day to stay solvent; to keep my home, to keep my vehicle running and pray it doesn't break down, to keep the self-defeating attitude at bay, to think positive thoughts about myself and my world and everything in it.
Some days I just can't win. I do have to pat myself on the back I am still afloat. I have managed to keep the bad guys away from me. Just barely I managed. But I am.
Some days I take a few steps forward and some days a few steps back; always the situation is degeneration and I am holding on for what I am not sure. I need to make a plan though.
I got some numbers so I can file for bankruptcy; to get the creditors off my back. I will not include the house as I want to keep it for as long as possible.
I am working on getting straight with the IRS; I haven't filed in a few years which is stupid for many reasons but they owe me lots of money! With all the medical bills wow! I can't seem to concentrate. I can't seem to get enough energy together and hold the pain at bay to take care of many things that I have to do.
I work on something for an hour or so and get discouraged because the pain escalates, I get fatigued, get frustrated, get up to rest and say "I will do these things when I feel better." Feeling better rarely happens because my body is breaking down to old age status because of the car accident and I have little or no control over the prognosis.
I am blessed and very happy about the good news concerning my heart. That is a break; a good break that was needed badly.
I am trying to decide what to do about Auto Owners and Jeff Bolster. They need to be socked in the wallet and as hard as I can manage. I had an idea the other day when looking for an attorney. I am having difficulty because of the gay issue. I think I will have better luck omitting it in my search. I have enough bad stuff to use and to file a lawsuit over without mentioning I am a lesbian. The angle with my mother's dying of breast cancer and my son's autism being used against me in deposition and mediation whould be enough.
Today, my chore is to go through all my unfiled paperwork; pull out all medical bills, tax stuff and stuff concerning Auto Owners and Bolster. These are things I need to take care of the most important things on my list. I spent one hour this morning and need to get off line and get back to it.
I can put the stuff I don't need right now into boxes and label "To Be Filed." That can wait till I get the taxes done. I have a number for VITA; this is affilliated with IRS but they help the consumer and they are volunteers. This is a great thing to have use of.
I have not filed any paperwork in SIX years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Filing kills my back. But when my son was here a week ago I had him stack the two filing cabinets with the important stuff on top.
Crap I am tired but I cann't lay down just yet. I have to get medical bills ready (make copies) for the Food Stamp program and take them down there Tuesday. And then get the medical bills ready for the hearing for recertification for medicaid. That mess is their mistake and oh what a mistake it was.
Maybe I can squeeze in an hour nap later..........................
Letter to R. Looyenga CEO of Auto Owners Insurance Company
Mr. Roger L. Looyenga
CEO Auto Owners Insurance Company
6101 Anacapri Blvd.
Lansing, MI 48917
August 15, 2006
Dear Mr. Looyenga:
On your web page under Core Values the number one value out of ten is Honesty. My experience with Auto Owners proves this is a lie. I suppose that is just window dressing but otherwise completely meaningless considering our almost seven year history.
Today for some reason I googled your name and came up with a lot of personal information about you and the things you are interested in.
Such as giving speeches to different insurance groups around the country. Your philanthropist work for sick children. Your career and educational history. I even had a chance to see a photo of you and it was good to put a face to a name. You really look like a normal man and not someone who would be capable of deliberately destroying another human being.
The lawyer that was hired to defend Auto Owners in the lawsuit on the other hand does appear to be a destructive person and takes personal satisfaction from looking at someone in the face and knowing he is about to ruin their life and in fact take someone’s life. I don’t know what he has against me but in mediation I was asked by my lawyer BT and the mediator Judge S I knew Bolster in the past and what was our connection. They observed his intensity when dealing with me and it appeared to all of us that this was highly personal; his action against me.
As for Monica Gardener, she looked lost and like she wished a hole would open up so she could drop into and disappear distancing herself from the devastation in the mediation.
So this brings me to the present. The time that I feared has come; I am letting go of my home. I can no longer care for it. It was a dream of mine for many years to own my own home. I worked for a few years to save up to buy a house and get my credit perfect. I was successful and the complete process from signing the contract to purchase and closing was about three weeks and this was in Dec. 1997. I have loved this home intensely. I have spent countless hours turning the yard into a cottage type garden complete with my favorite perennials. I now have three weeks from moving day to get my family to help me dig up as much as possible and transfer to containers. I cannot leave my irises, columbines, hundreds of lilies and purple cone flowers. The bulbs (about 5,000) will have to stay as I do not have the energy to concern myself with digging them up nor the time. So I will grieve for this garden and the ones I left behind.
I am also giving my last dog to the humane society and moving back to Atlanta to be near my children so they can care for me. Johannes sister and mother died not too long ago from an illness that was unknown to me and I could not afford to take them to the vet. Tonight when I let him inside for the night I started sobbing at my betrayal of this very sweet and kind dog. Do you know someone who might give him a good home?
Please help me place Johannes so he won’t be destroyed. I don’t think I could live with that. He really is wonderful considering he is a Rottweiler and they have a bad rep. He does not. He is not very smart but makes up for it by his gentle nature.
I just don’t know what to say to you Mr. Looyenga that I have not already said to convince you how wrong it was the things that your company and the lawyer you hired did to me. I don’t want to get into all that again. I have included passages of different letters I have sent to the following persons who work for your company.
Your company and your lawyer inflicted severe emotional and financial stress on me during the time before the day of mediation and that day as well. You set on me a snarling and rapid dog; your intention was to cause me financial ruin and the ruination of my health. Is that right?
Do you know what it feels like to have a heart attack? It hurts a great deal. But even worse than that it is scary. Well I had a heart attack on March 14 2006; it has been coming for a long time. The sedentary life I was forced to lead after I was hurt in that accident 12/31/1999 began with the damaged knee, the nerve damage and subsequent intractable pain and also hypertension, elevated cholesterol, elevated glucose levels which are very close to diabetes type 2. The heart attack left me with heart failure and an ejection fraction of 30 percent. In other words, my life has been jeopardized. I feel like you would not have wanted this to happen to anyone. Who would? But it did happen.
Your company did not cause the original accident. But the blame for everything else can be laid on your side. Your company took away the tools I needed to help me stay well and the stress inflicted caused irreversible damage to my heart. The actions of your company caused so much stress on me I can’t begin to describe it. It has harmed my family as well.
Your company also caused the end of two relationships I was involved in. The first one ended about four months after the accident; this person could not deal with what she observed happening to my body. The other one ended eight days after the heart attack. My then partner and best friend for over six years walked out on me telling my sister in the hospital that she could not stand by and watch me die. So I have had to go it alone through all the trials and tribulations of the car accident, the injuries, treatments and the losses. I am a strong woman but some things are just too much to bear or deal with over the long haul. Well I was a strong woman and by moving to be with my family perhaps I can gain something back. We hope so anyway.
My grandson M a few years ago (right after the mediation) began asking questions about the accident and what was happening with me. I explained what happened the best way I could. He asked me “Grandma Cookie, do you hate the lady who hit you and caused all this trouble?” I said, “No M, it was just an accident. That lady seemed to be nice and she would not be the kind of person who would wish these bad things on someone else. M, I do have bad feelings for the lawyer though. When you are older I will explain what happened. It is too much for you to deal with right now at your age.” He was 11 then. My grand-daughter A said she hated that woman and I explained the harm hating does to self and that the accident was just that an accident and not on purpose.
I think it is only right that I begin the process of suing your company for intention infliction of emotional distress. I have to find out first if I can file the lawsuit in Atlanta. I read that recently Auto Owners lost a case in Florida in a Bad Faith lawsuit and it cost your company $7 million dollars. I have got to try and recuperate the losses inflicted on me by your company and Jeff Bolster. If this happened to you or someone in your family; wouldn’t you think it was only right and far to sue that company?
My credit is in shambles when before it was excellent. I will probably never be able to buy another home or vehicle. I will voluntarily have to surrender this house. The house is not in the best of neighborhoods and there are already 10 for sale signs here.
K, the city where I live was hit with the worst lay off in North Carolina’s history; over 5,000 people lost their jobs at Pillow Tex less than two years ago. So the economy here is terrible and so is the housing market. There is no way with my poor health that I can continue to live in this house in hopes of the economy getting better so I can sell it and make some sort of profit to buy a place in Atlanta.
So I am forced into renting a one bedroom apartment and surrendering this house back to the Bank. How I hate the thought of renting and no longer having my own home and garden. I love my house despite the neighborhood. I spent many happy hours alone with my thoughts while my hands were in the dirt creating art in the form of a cottage garden. My garden changed the face of our neighborhood. You can see hundreds of butterflies here; so many types of birds especially the families of cardinals and yellow finches who have made a home here in my yard.
I remember one day when all three of my dogs were still alive. They were wandering around the large butterfly bush in the back yard. A huge monarch butterfly settled itself on Johannes’s head; opening and closing his wings while my dog was completely unaware of this butterfly sitting on his head.
Another time Midnight, my oldest cat escaped from the house. All three of my cats are indoor furr babies. He ran out the door and ran to the closet flower bed that was bursting with blooms and huge bumble bees. Midnight loves to stick his nose into the center of flowers so he was busy doing that and all of a sudden this bee caught his eye. He jerked his head back suddenly and you could almost hear him yelling “Whoa! What is that?”
I also caught him sniffing the orange lilies which were in a vase on my kitchen table. I walked into the kitchen and caught him in the act. He pulled his face away and looked at me like “what are you looking at?” He is a black cat and he was wearing an orange mask made of pollen!
I do apologize for the length of this letter but there are situations that you should be aware of; since your position is one of high importance your employees probably have not informed you of me and my situation with your company. I would love to think that you know nothing of what has transpired.
I am very ill presently with little hope of getting much better. I do feel living close to my children will be a very positive move and I pray it does have a positive affect on my health. I sleep between 12 and 16 hours at a time. It is a combination of many factors such as all the medications which many cause drowsiness; the incredible heat here in NC has had a negative affect, the heart failure from the heart attack makes patients feel tired and so does having an ejection fraction of 30 percent. The day before the heart attack I had a stress test and they used dobutaline to stimulate my heart like I had been exercising hard, they used this iv med because I cannot walk on the treadmill and there was no chance to get my heart up to the required rate.
Presently these are my medications:
Cymbalta 90 mg once a day
Oxycotin 20 mg three times a day
Valium 5mg and Celebrex 200mg as needed for pain and anxiety.
Crestor once a day
Plavix 75mg once a day
Aspirin 81 mg once a day
Wellbutrin once a day
Lopressor twice a day
Lisinopril 10 mg once a day
I once again loose Medicaid at the end of this month and have no idea how to pay for these medications.
In conclusion I am enclosing a time line for your attention. It makes it very clear the terrible things I have been forced to endure and the damage your company has inflicted upon me and my losses I have endured as well. How much do you think all these doctor appointments and surgical procedures cost? One hell of a lot more than the $21,000 that ya’ll settled on me you can be sure of this.
Mr. Looyenga, this letter has given you the opportunity to get to know me and that I am not some sort of flake or lawsuit bunny. I am a normal person and something bad happened to me that was not my fault. This was all further complicated by the events of the lawsuit my lawyer filed against your company. And all these events have led to tragic results. It is my intention to let you get to know my family as well. I have a lot of video tape I will share with you. I also have video tape of me walking, running, playing, planning a baby shower for my daughter B and me running around in high heels for a few hours being the hostess.
I am also going to introduce you to my grandchildren of whom there are now seven of them. M is the eldest at 12 and a brainy but sweet boy. B is 12 and she is my step-grand-daughter through the marriage of my daughter B. A is now 11 and she is B’s first child. Then there is S, sister of B another one of my step-grand-daughters; what a pretty teenager she is and very sweet. N is almost four and looks like a future line backer for the Atlanta Falcons and he loves dinosaurs and we play dinosaur games when I visit. He is the brother of B and S and he also calls me Grandma Cookie. Now comes Z who was adopted three years ago by my daughter B. Z birth parents are from Somalia and this precious child is incredibly beautiful, completely spoiled and so smart! She is going to be very tall and her birth mother looks like the famous model Imam. And last but not least is J who was born on Jan. 25th the second and last child of my daughter B and her husband J. His name is JT but we call him JT and he is such a sweet laid back baby. He can spend alone time just playing with his toes and be a perfectly happy cuddly baby which is what I love a nice dimply baby that loves to be held and cuddled. He rarely cries and that is only when he is hungry.
I should have written this letter two years ago and maybe the problems between us could have been resolved.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I would love to hear back from you.
Sincerely,
nac
Excerpts from letters written to your employees, co-workers and lawyer. Only Mr. Froman has sent a letter back and it was a threat of a lawsuit against me if I didn’t stop telling people about this case. I told him to bring it on.
Claim #35-00120-00
The name of persons I have sent letters to.
Mr. Edwin R Skinner
Ms. Carolyn Gilgen
Mr. John W. Fisher
Mr. R. L. Looyenga
Mr. John W. Fisher
Mr. Greg L. Cornell
Mr. Ron Simon
Ms. Monica Gardner
Mr. Thomas Froman
I never did mail this letter. It wan't do any good because those people have feelings only for $$$$$$$$$$ and they must not be human.
CEO Auto Owners Insurance Company
6101 Anacapri Blvd.
Lansing, MI 48917
August 15, 2006
Dear Mr. Looyenga:
On your web page under Core Values the number one value out of ten is Honesty. My experience with Auto Owners proves this is a lie. I suppose that is just window dressing but otherwise completely meaningless considering our almost seven year history.
Today for some reason I googled your name and came up with a lot of personal information about you and the things you are interested in.
Such as giving speeches to different insurance groups around the country. Your philanthropist work for sick children. Your career and educational history. I even had a chance to see a photo of you and it was good to put a face to a name. You really look like a normal man and not someone who would be capable of deliberately destroying another human being.
The lawyer that was hired to defend Auto Owners in the lawsuit on the other hand does appear to be a destructive person and takes personal satisfaction from looking at someone in the face and knowing he is about to ruin their life and in fact take someone’s life. I don’t know what he has against me but in mediation I was asked by my lawyer BT and the mediator Judge S I knew Bolster in the past and what was our connection. They observed his intensity when dealing with me and it appeared to all of us that this was highly personal; his action against me.
As for Monica Gardener, she looked lost and like she wished a hole would open up so she could drop into and disappear distancing herself from the devastation in the mediation.
So this brings me to the present. The time that I feared has come; I am letting go of my home. I can no longer care for it. It was a dream of mine for many years to own my own home. I worked for a few years to save up to buy a house and get my credit perfect. I was successful and the complete process from signing the contract to purchase and closing was about three weeks and this was in Dec. 1997. I have loved this home intensely. I have spent countless hours turning the yard into a cottage type garden complete with my favorite perennials. I now have three weeks from moving day to get my family to help me dig up as much as possible and transfer to containers. I cannot leave my irises, columbines, hundreds of lilies and purple cone flowers. The bulbs (about 5,000) will have to stay as I do not have the energy to concern myself with digging them up nor the time. So I will grieve for this garden and the ones I left behind.
I am also giving my last dog to the humane society and moving back to Atlanta to be near my children so they can care for me. Johannes sister and mother died not too long ago from an illness that was unknown to me and I could not afford to take them to the vet. Tonight when I let him inside for the night I started sobbing at my betrayal of this very sweet and kind dog. Do you know someone who might give him a good home?
Please help me place Johannes so he won’t be destroyed. I don’t think I could live with that. He really is wonderful considering he is a Rottweiler and they have a bad rep. He does not. He is not very smart but makes up for it by his gentle nature.
I just don’t know what to say to you Mr. Looyenga that I have not already said to convince you how wrong it was the things that your company and the lawyer you hired did to me. I don’t want to get into all that again. I have included passages of different letters I have sent to the following persons who work for your company.
Your company and your lawyer inflicted severe emotional and financial stress on me during the time before the day of mediation and that day as well. You set on me a snarling and rapid dog; your intention was to cause me financial ruin and the ruination of my health. Is that right?
Do you know what it feels like to have a heart attack? It hurts a great deal. But even worse than that it is scary. Well I had a heart attack on March 14 2006; it has been coming for a long time. The sedentary life I was forced to lead after I was hurt in that accident 12/31/1999 began with the damaged knee, the nerve damage and subsequent intractable pain and also hypertension, elevated cholesterol, elevated glucose levels which are very close to diabetes type 2. The heart attack left me with heart failure and an ejection fraction of 30 percent. In other words, my life has been jeopardized. I feel like you would not have wanted this to happen to anyone. Who would? But it did happen.
Your company did not cause the original accident. But the blame for everything else can be laid on your side. Your company took away the tools I needed to help me stay well and the stress inflicted caused irreversible damage to my heart. The actions of your company caused so much stress on me I can’t begin to describe it. It has harmed my family as well.
Your company also caused the end of two relationships I was involved in. The first one ended about four months after the accident; this person could not deal with what she observed happening to my body. The other one ended eight days after the heart attack. My then partner and best friend for over six years walked out on me telling my sister in the hospital that she could not stand by and watch me die. So I have had to go it alone through all the trials and tribulations of the car accident, the injuries, treatments and the losses. I am a strong woman but some things are just too much to bear or deal with over the long haul. Well I was a strong woman and by moving to be with my family perhaps I can gain something back. We hope so anyway.
My grandson M a few years ago (right after the mediation) began asking questions about the accident and what was happening with me. I explained what happened the best way I could. He asked me “Grandma Cookie, do you hate the lady who hit you and caused all this trouble?” I said, “No M, it was just an accident. That lady seemed to be nice and she would not be the kind of person who would wish these bad things on someone else. M, I do have bad feelings for the lawyer though. When you are older I will explain what happened. It is too much for you to deal with right now at your age.” He was 11 then. My grand-daughter A said she hated that woman and I explained the harm hating does to self and that the accident was just that an accident and not on purpose.
I think it is only right that I begin the process of suing your company for intention infliction of emotional distress. I have to find out first if I can file the lawsuit in Atlanta. I read that recently Auto Owners lost a case in Florida in a Bad Faith lawsuit and it cost your company $7 million dollars. I have got to try and recuperate the losses inflicted on me by your company and Jeff Bolster. If this happened to you or someone in your family; wouldn’t you think it was only right and far to sue that company?
My credit is in shambles when before it was excellent. I will probably never be able to buy another home or vehicle. I will voluntarily have to surrender this house. The house is not in the best of neighborhoods and there are already 10 for sale signs here.
K, the city where I live was hit with the worst lay off in North Carolina’s history; over 5,000 people lost their jobs at Pillow Tex less than two years ago. So the economy here is terrible and so is the housing market. There is no way with my poor health that I can continue to live in this house in hopes of the economy getting better so I can sell it and make some sort of profit to buy a place in Atlanta.
So I am forced into renting a one bedroom apartment and surrendering this house back to the Bank. How I hate the thought of renting and no longer having my own home and garden. I love my house despite the neighborhood. I spent many happy hours alone with my thoughts while my hands were in the dirt creating art in the form of a cottage garden. My garden changed the face of our neighborhood. You can see hundreds of butterflies here; so many types of birds especially the families of cardinals and yellow finches who have made a home here in my yard.
I remember one day when all three of my dogs were still alive. They were wandering around the large butterfly bush in the back yard. A huge monarch butterfly settled itself on Johannes’s head; opening and closing his wings while my dog was completely unaware of this butterfly sitting on his head.
Another time Midnight, my oldest cat escaped from the house. All three of my cats are indoor furr babies. He ran out the door and ran to the closet flower bed that was bursting with blooms and huge bumble bees. Midnight loves to stick his nose into the center of flowers so he was busy doing that and all of a sudden this bee caught his eye. He jerked his head back suddenly and you could almost hear him yelling “Whoa! What is that?”
I also caught him sniffing the orange lilies which were in a vase on my kitchen table. I walked into the kitchen and caught him in the act. He pulled his face away and looked at me like “what are you looking at?” He is a black cat and he was wearing an orange mask made of pollen!
I do apologize for the length of this letter but there are situations that you should be aware of; since your position is one of high importance your employees probably have not informed you of me and my situation with your company. I would love to think that you know nothing of what has transpired.
I am very ill presently with little hope of getting much better. I do feel living close to my children will be a very positive move and I pray it does have a positive affect on my health. I sleep between 12 and 16 hours at a time. It is a combination of many factors such as all the medications which many cause drowsiness; the incredible heat here in NC has had a negative affect, the heart failure from the heart attack makes patients feel tired and so does having an ejection fraction of 30 percent. The day before the heart attack I had a stress test and they used dobutaline to stimulate my heart like I had been exercising hard, they used this iv med because I cannot walk on the treadmill and there was no chance to get my heart up to the required rate.
Presently these are my medications:
Cymbalta 90 mg once a day
Oxycotin 20 mg three times a day
Valium 5mg and Celebrex 200mg as needed for pain and anxiety.
Crestor once a day
Plavix 75mg once a day
Aspirin 81 mg once a day
Wellbutrin once a day
Lopressor twice a day
Lisinopril 10 mg once a day
I once again loose Medicaid at the end of this month and have no idea how to pay for these medications.
In conclusion I am enclosing a time line for your attention. It makes it very clear the terrible things I have been forced to endure and the damage your company has inflicted upon me and my losses I have endured as well. How much do you think all these doctor appointments and surgical procedures cost? One hell of a lot more than the $21,000 that ya’ll settled on me you can be sure of this.
Mr. Looyenga, this letter has given you the opportunity to get to know me and that I am not some sort of flake or lawsuit bunny. I am a normal person and something bad happened to me that was not my fault. This was all further complicated by the events of the lawsuit my lawyer filed against your company. And all these events have led to tragic results. It is my intention to let you get to know my family as well. I have a lot of video tape I will share with you. I also have video tape of me walking, running, playing, planning a baby shower for my daughter B and me running around in high heels for a few hours being the hostess.
I am also going to introduce you to my grandchildren of whom there are now seven of them. M is the eldest at 12 and a brainy but sweet boy. B is 12 and she is my step-grand-daughter through the marriage of my daughter B. A is now 11 and she is B’s first child. Then there is S, sister of B another one of my step-grand-daughters; what a pretty teenager she is and very sweet. N is almost four and looks like a future line backer for the Atlanta Falcons and he loves dinosaurs and we play dinosaur games when I visit. He is the brother of B and S and he also calls me Grandma Cookie. Now comes Z who was adopted three years ago by my daughter B. Z birth parents are from Somalia and this precious child is incredibly beautiful, completely spoiled and so smart! She is going to be very tall and her birth mother looks like the famous model Imam. And last but not least is J who was born on Jan. 25th the second and last child of my daughter B and her husband J. His name is JT but we call him JT and he is such a sweet laid back baby. He can spend alone time just playing with his toes and be a perfectly happy cuddly baby which is what I love a nice dimply baby that loves to be held and cuddled. He rarely cries and that is only when he is hungry.
I should have written this letter two years ago and maybe the problems between us could have been resolved.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I would love to hear back from you.
Sincerely,
nac
Excerpts from letters written to your employees, co-workers and lawyer. Only Mr. Froman has sent a letter back and it was a threat of a lawsuit against me if I didn’t stop telling people about this case. I told him to bring it on.
Claim #35-00120-00
The name of persons I have sent letters to.
Mr. Edwin R Skinner
Ms. Carolyn Gilgen
Mr. John W. Fisher
Mr. R. L. Looyenga
Mr. John W. Fisher
Mr. Greg L. Cornell
Mr. Ron Simon
Ms. Monica Gardner
Mr. Thomas Froman
I never did mail this letter. It wan't do any good because those people have feelings only for $$$$$$$$$$ and they must not be human.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Fighting for Medicaid and Food Stamps:
As of today, my food stamps have been reduced from $152 a month to $10! And they have taken away Medicaid! What the f**k am I going to do now?
My expenses are more than my income now even with getting those food stamps and paying $3 per script. Generic Oxycotin costs $4 for each pill and I take three a day for this terrible pain. My heart meds. The anti-depressants? The Celebrex for the arthritis? This has gone from bad to worse.
I got a final notice for my property tax saying they were going to confiscate my vehicle, put a lein on my house and take money out of my checking account.
I am being sued by Discover Card too. I have yet to answer the summons; I have four days left. I am certainly going to tell them exactly what happened in that court room. Naming companies and names. There is no way I can afford to pay them. I am waiting for Master Card and Sears to sue me next.
I have decided to call Legal Aid to see if they can assist me to file bankruptcy and I will be very detailed as to why it happened that I cannot pay my bills. It was no fault of mine.
I am going to write all three credit reporting companies as well; giving the truth and naming names/companies.
I found out that the stature of limitations to file a lawsuit against Jeff Bolster and Auto Owners has not run out. I also found out that I am considered an indigent and will not have to pay one cent to file the lawsuits agains them in Mecklenberg County. So I have written to ask for the forms to be sent to me so I can file in Superior Court. That is where I have to file because I am filing for more than $10,000 so it has to go there. I will start the process pro se and keep looking for a lawyer.
The lawyer (Levan & P something or another) in Florida that won a $7 million Bad Faith against Auto Owners said he is going to help me find a lawyer in NC that will take them on. So this is good news and it makes me feel more confident that I will be able to have my day in court and let a jury hear what they did to me. I also talked to another lawyer in Tallahassee, FL that told me Auto Owners are nasty and bad bad insurance company.
My expenses are more than my income now even with getting those food stamps and paying $3 per script. Generic Oxycotin costs $4 for each pill and I take three a day for this terrible pain. My heart meds. The anti-depressants? The Celebrex for the arthritis? This has gone from bad to worse.
I got a final notice for my property tax saying they were going to confiscate my vehicle, put a lein on my house and take money out of my checking account.
I am being sued by Discover Card too. I have yet to answer the summons; I have four days left. I am certainly going to tell them exactly what happened in that court room. Naming companies and names. There is no way I can afford to pay them. I am waiting for Master Card and Sears to sue me next.
I have decided to call Legal Aid to see if they can assist me to file bankruptcy and I will be very detailed as to why it happened that I cannot pay my bills. It was no fault of mine.
I am going to write all three credit reporting companies as well; giving the truth and naming names/companies.
I found out that the stature of limitations to file a lawsuit against Jeff Bolster and Auto Owners has not run out. I also found out that I am considered an indigent and will not have to pay one cent to file the lawsuits agains them in Mecklenberg County. So I have written to ask for the forms to be sent to me so I can file in Superior Court. That is where I have to file because I am filing for more than $10,000 so it has to go there. I will start the process pro se and keep looking for a lawyer.
The lawyer (Levan & P something or another) in Florida that won a $7 million Bad Faith against Auto Owners said he is going to help me find a lawyer in NC that will take them on. So this is good news and it makes me feel more confident that I will be able to have my day in court and let a jury hear what they did to me. I also talked to another lawyer in Tallahassee, FL that told me Auto Owners are nasty and bad bad insurance company.
At Long Last A Break:
I finally got the first real break since the car accident concerning my health. I went to the new cardiologist today for some testing to be done. I had a thalium scan with and without isotope tracers; a stress test, an echo and lab work.
The stress test revealed that my heart had completely healed, he said if he didn't know better he would not be able to tell that I had had a heart attack. My ejection fraction has improved greatly! It was 65% the day before the HA, after the HA it was 30% (the heart begins to die at 15%). Today it was 69% which is a high normal. The ventricles have completely healed and working great. I am so happy that I am walking on air!
I called my daughters right outside the clinic when I got home to share the good news; we all cried with relief. I feel like my life is now being given back to me and I have a second chance at life.
I saw my shrink on Monday and she feels the sleeping so many hours during the day is because of depression. My brain and body is tired from all the stressors of the past six years, the financial problems and the health problems have been just too much for me to handle. She said I have post-tramatic stress disorder from the chain of events which happened after the car accident. So we are working on that issue now.
I am now enrolled in group therapy beginning the Monday after Labor Day. Dr. G also wanted me to see a clinician that day. She asked me if I had had thoughts of suicide recently and I answered yes. She asked me what prevented me from doing it and how did I handle it. I said the thoughts of my kids, grandchildren and pets prevented me from doing it. They would suffer when I took the cowards way out.
So I saw A, and we talked for over an hour. She let me know that I do need to come in when ever I feel that bad. They have clinicians on call 24/7/365 that can help me. I was not aware of that.
I also fessed up with her about what happened to me during the lawsuit with Auto Owners Insurance Company; I had never told anyone at Daymark Recovery about this terrible thing.
A said, "I adnire you so much Nancy; this is a courageous and loyal thing you did to take a financial hit like that to protect your two friends is a wonderful thing. You should be very proud. And when you started telling me about this you started off by saying that if you had it to do all over you would do the same thing makes it all the more evident that you are so loyal and trustworth with your family and friends."
She also said that if she had to choose someone for a friend it would be me; that I was a much better person than the lawyer for Auto Owners and a better person that all the people working for Auto Owners who were part of the decision to hurt me. She said this kind of loyalty is hard to find and I should be so proud. I told her I learned that from my mother and grandfather.
And yes, even though the outcome was disasterous, I hurt my family and myself a lot, I would protect my friends in a heartbeat; I would do it again.
Funny they don't even know what I did. I never told them about it. The only thing I ever said on the day of the deposition was "if someone named Jeff Bolster calls you do not answer the phone!"
The stress test revealed that my heart had completely healed, he said if he didn't know better he would not be able to tell that I had had a heart attack. My ejection fraction has improved greatly! It was 65% the day before the HA, after the HA it was 30% (the heart begins to die at 15%). Today it was 69% which is a high normal. The ventricles have completely healed and working great. I am so happy that I am walking on air!
I called my daughters right outside the clinic when I got home to share the good news; we all cried with relief. I feel like my life is now being given back to me and I have a second chance at life.
I saw my shrink on Monday and she feels the sleeping so many hours during the day is because of depression. My brain and body is tired from all the stressors of the past six years, the financial problems and the health problems have been just too much for me to handle. She said I have post-tramatic stress disorder from the chain of events which happened after the car accident. So we are working on that issue now.
I am now enrolled in group therapy beginning the Monday after Labor Day. Dr. G also wanted me to see a clinician that day. She asked me if I had had thoughts of suicide recently and I answered yes. She asked me what prevented me from doing it and how did I handle it. I said the thoughts of my kids, grandchildren and pets prevented me from doing it. They would suffer when I took the cowards way out.
So I saw A, and we talked for over an hour. She let me know that I do need to come in when ever I feel that bad. They have clinicians on call 24/7/365 that can help me. I was not aware of that.
I also fessed up with her about what happened to me during the lawsuit with Auto Owners Insurance Company; I had never told anyone at Daymark Recovery about this terrible thing.
A said, "I adnire you so much Nancy; this is a courageous and loyal thing you did to take a financial hit like that to protect your two friends is a wonderful thing. You should be very proud. And when you started telling me about this you started off by saying that if you had it to do all over you would do the same thing makes it all the more evident that you are so loyal and trustworth with your family and friends."
She also said that if she had to choose someone for a friend it would be me; that I was a much better person than the lawyer for Auto Owners and a better person that all the people working for Auto Owners who were part of the decision to hurt me. She said this kind of loyalty is hard to find and I should be so proud. I told her I learned that from my mother and grandfather.
And yes, even though the outcome was disasterous, I hurt my family and myself a lot, I would protect my friends in a heartbeat; I would do it again.
Funny they don't even know what I did. I never told them about it. The only thing I ever said on the day of the deposition was "if someone named Jeff Bolster calls you do not answer the phone!"
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